Facing the Unknown: How to Embrace Change with 5 Thought-Provoking Questions
If you find yourself standing at a crossroads in life – a mixture of fear, excitement, and anxiety churning inside you – do you feel ready to embrace change? Or do you feel trapped under the pressure of uncertainty?
As the saying goes, “the only constant in life is change,” so learning to not just cope with it but embrace it can lead to a happier, more fulfilled life. Here are five questions to ask yourself to strengthen your adaptability to change and become more resilient in the process.
How would I support a friend going through a similar situation?
The first step in navigating change is to cultivate self-compassion. It's easy to be hard on yourself, criticizing your inability to handle change 'better.' But imagine if a friend was going through the same situation – you'd likely offer words of support, understanding and care, not criticism.
Begin by practicing these three exercises for self-compassion:
Approach your shortcomings with kindness, not judgement. To do this, try writing out words of kindness you’d say to a close friend if they were going through a similar situation. Then, read them aloud to yourself and really let them sink in.
Remember that failure is part of the human experience and is unavoidable
Allow yourself to feel unpleasant emotions when they surface
Self-compassion can simply look like acknowledging the difficulty of the situation with kindness: "This is a really hard experience. It's okay to make mistakes." And remember, navigating change is a process – not a one-time event. Allow yourself the grace to stumble a little while you adjust to your new reality.
2. What does this experience feel like in my body?
Coping with change at work and at home can affect you on many levels – emotionally, mentally, but also physically. The top five stressors in life – losing a loved one, divorce, moving, illness, and job loss – are bound by a common thread: uncertainty.
“Uncertainty means ambiguity, which means that we have to expend effort in trying to predict what will happen in addition to preparing to deal with all of the different outcomes,” says Aoife O’Donovan, associate professor of psychiatry.
So, regardless of whether you’re navigating ‘negative’ or ‘positive’ change – like getting married versus getting divorced – the uncertainty can create feelings of anxiety, fear, and even grief as you lose familiarity and step into the unknown.
The key here is to allow yourself to feel the feeling rather than think the feeling. Thinking the feeling might sound like: “I’m so frustrated about this! Why do things like this always happen to me?” Instead, feeling the feeling focuses on noticing how the emotion manifests in your body. This could sound like: “My shoulders are tense, my mind is racing, and my chest is tight. I can feel my body bracing for impact.”
By being present with these sensations, you can process your emotions more effectively, rather than amplifying them by overthinking.
3. How can I care for myself right now?
Although not all change is bad, the perceived threat of the unknown could trigger your fight or flight response. . Regardless of what you’re going through, this can impact your mood, energy levels, quality of sleep, and cause other mental and physical symptoms. During these potentially stressful times, it’s important to pay special attention to what your body needs. Try to take it easy on yourself by nurturing your body and mind.
A simple way to do this is to ask yourself “what would make me feel safe, calm, and present?” What people, places, or activities in your life have the power to make you feel this way? Maybe it’s a family member whose presence is comforting or a yoga class to calm the nerves. Whatever it is for you,aking care of yourself ensures you have the energy and resilience to care for others and navigate through change – like securing your oxygen mask first to prepare for what’s to come.
4. As this situation evolves, what might be possible?
If change makes you imagine the worst possible outcome, a simple mindset redirect to shift your focus from fear to curiosity could help you better embrace change.
“Our words and perceptions matter and impact our behaviour and actions. Reframing the way we think about change is very valuable in whether we worry about it or we embrace it,” says executive coach Shefali Raina.
Instead of getting lost in the worst case scenario, try imagining the possibilities. Ask yourself:
What new opportunities could this change bring?
How might this situation help me grow or lead me down an unexpected path?
How is exiting my comfort zone helping broaden my horizons?
Embracing the unknown can turn a challenging situation into a window to possibility.
5. Who can I reach out to for support?
Humans are wired for connection, and chances are, others have gone through similar experiences to you. Reaching out for support can provide comfort and perspective, and can also be an opportunity to offer your support and connect with others.
Beyond friends and family, here are a few ways to seek support:
Speak with a mental health professional to develop positive coping strategies
Join a grief support group if you’re navigating changes like loss or divorce
Find a reputable social media forum for others in similar situations as you
Remember – leaning on others and allowing them to lean on you creates empathy and understanding that can help you better navigate uncertainty and embrace change.
Learn to embrace change and thrive through challenges
Anyone can develop the mindset to thrive in uncertainty. In my ‘Become Unshakeable’ keynote, you’ll learn simple techniques to weather the changes and challenges that come your way with ease and confidence. To book me for a keynote or workshop, get in touch today.
